Now what was I saying? Ah yes, ‘We’ve identified the importance of clear, calm, and kind communication’ identified yes, mastered? Well, our first sail together would prove otherwise…

The great news is, we got out for a first sail together as a little family on day five of living on the boat. It was a stunning evening on Thursday arvo, calm, sunny, and with about 12 knots of breeze to ease us into our first team work task! We got out of the Channel and turned into the wind to hoist the sails. Thankfully, Pete already had an idea of the ropes, given he’d just sailed her up here. I on the other hand needed a calm lesson and reminder of what went where, all the while with a wriggling baby strapped to my front.

While I’ve spent countless hours on boats and yachts I’ve never been one of only two crew (other than on our power boats). Growing up, our (incredible) sailing escapades were done as a family of five on firstly a Coronet 20, then a Noelex 30, and later a Farr 750 which mum and dad still have. The trouble with being the youngest child is that, while I was there and a part of it all, I wasn’t often the one yanking on the ropes. I’d argue that my pecking order in the family dictated this. My family might beg to differ and have other reasons but there’s no denying that typically, mum, dad, and my brother Neil sailed the boat, while my sister and I were given the odd barking order to grab a rope, or most commonly, were on snacks and tea making duty. Since then, I’ve done a little bit of sailing on other boats and watched many a Youtube video of sailing families. The most recent experience I have sailing is on a friends’ boat in Picton in the Tuesday night racing series. This is a great way to be thrown in the deep end as the slow, calm moving that sailing typically boasts, goes completely out the window when your skipper wants to win! While I loved going along to this I faced a similar problem…this time it was my pecking order and I hate to say it, but my gender. I was sailing with 3 or 4 60 year old men, and my Pete was often there too. To be fair, they were existing crew and yes they could, yank on the ropes a lot harder than I could. But it just felt a bit like another situation where, here I was sailing, but my job consisted of passing the winch handle between the two blokes as we switched tack…

Perhaps I’m pointing a bit too much blame and not taking enough ownership for my own learning. I can’t expect to just be handed the knowledge, so since figuring that out, I am here and I am ready to learn. I want to soak up as much as I can and become confident in our boat and navigating her on the ocean. All with a wriggling, grizzling, pecking, baby tied on.

We put the mainsail up, and then the headsail. It felt SO GOOD to be behind the wheel with TIME to actually feel her move across the sea and adapt to the wind dancing along the sails. We were going pretty slow to begin with, 1, 1,5, 2knots… we were simply happy to be out with the engine off and gathering what little wind we could find. Then, things picked up. Nothing extreme but we cracked 5 knots and 6 for a bit and Pete informed me that we were now going ‘an actual respectable sailing speed’. So the three of us did a dance and took in our surroundings with the clear blue all around us.

At this point, Ocean got a wee bit unsettled from all that clear blue. The grizzling started and the desire to crawl, climb, and explore took over. With the boat heeled over somewhat, and the furious speed we were going (haha) he was disappointed to learn that those activities were not on the cards at that present moment. We managed to get dinner into him (in the high chair on the stern as we sailed along of course) but then, he was done. We had made a plan to anchor in a nearby bay, cook some dinner, and celebrate with a swim and a quick dive off the duckboard however the jammed anchor chain, protesting baby, and precariously protruding rocks taunting the bow quickly derailed that plan and we turned about to head home instead. It was a short lived sail but ultimately, a successful one and a confronting reality about what sailing with a baby was going to be like!

We had a fair idea that becoming part of the sailing community was going to introduce us to all kinds of adventurous, like minded, and interesting people. We are absolutely loving this aspect of boat life. Everyone is friendly, helpful, keen to share their knowledge, and oh so interested in our wee boy. He’s a great conversation starter that’s for sure, and he is quickly becoming well known around the marina. In the short time we’ve been here, we’ve heard so many incredible stories of the adventures people have had sailing around the world. My favourite stories are the ones about families with multiple kids on much smaller boats than ours, who have traversed the seas for years on end. It’s certainly inspiring and makes our adventure seem much less intimidating. One couple that are living just down from us on their boat, are heading off on a circumnavigation in about 6 weeks time. They brought up all three of their now adult kids on sailboats and are only too happy to share their wisdom and experiences with us just starting out. We met them while I was feeding Ocean his dinner in his highchair on the stern. I’m sure the image must have given them both a flashback as they passed by saying ‘Ah yes, we did that’.

Meeting people is definitely easier with kids as well. It’s amazing the reception I get from some people when I’m out and about on my own with Ocean. People holding doors open, people stopping their lawnmowers as I walk by, and of course people wanting to stop and chat like you’re old buddies while they quiz you on your wee one and encourage him to smile, wave, and interact. It’s actually really nice. But we’ve decided it’s because we’re now part of the ‘club’ that is parenting. We first noticed this when we were pregnant and dad’s in particular would open up this whole other side of their personality to tell (mainly Pete) all about what he was in for as a new dad. One Dad in particular was a guy we often surfed with around Blenheim. Lovely guy, but only knowing each other out in the waves, surfing chat tends to become your only conversation. Well, when he found out that the sprog was on the way, he opened up that previously closed (to us) chapter in his life about parenting and wanted to give us all kinds of great advice. The best bit was, when he felt like he’d imparted all that he could he said “So anyway, you guys been getting many waves lately?”. Strangers on the street are the same but often it’s just through sharing a small smile at your child babbling or the knowing ‘look’ that says “I know what you’re going through’.

April/May is the best time of year for the weather to head off to the islands and we now know about 4 boats that are preparing for their departure soon. This fact alone just makes me so happy to have taken this leap and be living among people like this. People that make opportunities happen in their lives, people that have the drive to live life outside the ‘normal’ parameters of society, and people that just get out there and do it. I like to think that Pete and I have these qualities and I still have to pinch myself daily about the fact that we are currently living aboard. A dream that we both had for so long but only really made a serious plan for in about August last year. It’s heartwarming to be a small part of other people’s adventures as they make preparations to go and share their stories with us. We are able to learn what’s involved and take notes for the day when we are in the same position. Time spent sailing is probably the area we both want to focus on the most. I mean, there’s a lot to learn in all areas, but being comfortable sailing together, sailing Zula, and of course sailing with the baby is at the forefront for us. Just gotta keep up that ‘calm, clear, and kind, communication!

We’ve now had our first guests come aboard to stay which we’re pretty proud to achieve inside two weeks living on the boat. Pete’s brother, his partner and their two kids (3 and 6 months) came to stay for two nights. We are quite happy to report that it was actually comfortable and there was plenty of room for everyone! (Even with their two trolley loads of stuff!) We did have to give up our bedroom though…(oh and our newly installed mattress! I don’t think I mentioned it, but that could be a story in itself watching Pete and I manoeuvre the rather weighty box, onto the stern, through the hatch and then carefully into position inside while we peeled off the packaging to watch it expand into place! This was the only kind of mattress we could logically get for this room (a vacuum packed one) but thankfully, it has definitely made some difference for both of our back issues! And needless to say, this process went very well and I’m proud to say our ‘clear, calm, and kind communication’ that we are aiming to master got a tick for this team work task! We also had the best night’s sleep that night. And so did Ocean… which was strange because he didn’t get a new mattress. We decided he must have picked up on the fact that mum and dad really needed a good sleep that night.) So we slept in the cockpit which quickly prompted a plan from Pete to convert the second toilet/shower into Ocean’s bedroom/sleeping room? Um, it’s a toilet Pete, and it smells like one? I am still sceptical but Pete is looking to the future and not liking the idea of giving up his bed every time a family member wants to come and stay (and they are all pencilling themselves in!) so watch this space. On some level I have to agree. Ocean isn’t actually ‘using’ the double bunk in the bow but rather sleeps in a cot (of sorts…) on top of the bunk, so we will figure something out…

With learning to sail being at the forefront of our focus, we hope to get out as much as possible. We also thought we should join the yacht club here and ask around about any weekly sailing or races that happen. In Picton, we were both crewing on a friends’ yacht in the weekly series races (as aforementioned) so we were hoping to find something similar here! Sure enough, while at Play Centre with Ocean, I happened to meet the woman who organises crew for the weekly sailing races they call ‘Rum Racing!’. So just like that, I had the right contact and the first sail was the next night. This time around, we would take turns each week while the other looked after Ocean. I was sent to a 40 ish foot 2020 yacht that we had been admiring on our walks past in the marina. It looked pretty sleek and with a name that had ‘Speed’ in it I had a good feeling about our impending placing. I was one of three crew which I was excited about, knowing that my role would definitely be more hands-on than I had sometimes experienced in the past. Well, as hands on as it could be with a boat that has an electric winch to hoist the mainsail! No, there was plenty to do and I was very grateful for the experience and the chance to learn from two knowledgeable sailors, one of which was a super yacht captain. The other good thing about just putting our names forward for crew is it is likely we will move around different boats depending on the need for crew so that will further add to our learning and different experiences!

Currently our ‘to do’ list is growing daily as we knew it might. We want to start looking into the requirements for Category 1, that’s a big one. But more immediately we need to PUT UP THE BABY NETTING AROUND THE BOAT! (this should have been a day 1 kind of job), fix leaking hatches (Aft Cabin x2, Bow Cabin x1), deep clean the boat, clean the oven, finish finding everything a home on the boat (largely 3x boxes of tools, dive gear), clean out stern locker and sort, fix cupboard doors in kitchen where the microwave used to be, sort out fan in aft cabin (random spark in the night did not give us much comfort), reduce rain water coming in through the mast area, find leak in the tender, fix other lights that currently don’t work, fix 2x stove elements that seem blocked, oh, and get out sailing! I’m sure there’s plenty more on the list I may have missed but there probably always will be! In the meantime, we are also working full time (Pete at work, me with Ocean), planning our wedding for February, making time to see whanau, and attending different events around the country. April is fast filling up with an Easter trip to Lake Taupo, a friend’s wedding in Palmerston North, and a trip to Rotorua to see my family while my brother visits from Nelson with Ocean’s cuzzies! I can see now why it takes most boats between 1-2 years to reach Category 1. Well that, and the other huge factor, MONEY! But hopefully none of this comes off in a negative or complaining tone. We are so fortunate to be in the position we are in, living up here on Zula and having the means to attend things like weddings and family catch ups. We are firm believers that those are areas of our lives that time and money should always be allocated for.

Two weeks in and life is good. We have now added our cushions, homemade quilts and personal touches to the boat which has really transformed her to our home. The space seems to be getting bigger as well as we find homes for everything and fine tune our daily routines like cooking, getting groceries, doing dishes, and washing nappies! Day to day life right now is not so different than any other dwelling might be. Pete is working Monday-Friday while Ocean and I attend music group, swimming lessons, Play Centre, baby gym, and keep things all ticking along in our home. We are all enjoying exploring Northland, planning time to sail, and chatting about everything we want to achieve on the yacht and beyond. Now to finally have a weekend at home on the boat to get a few more jobs ticked off! And hopefully, get out for a sail! 

Ellie, Pete, and Ocean.